Nine ways we try to make ourselves safe:
If I can make myself and everything around me perfect…
If I can make other people love me and depend upon me…
If I can look successful in the eyes of others…
If I can be uniquely, expressively myself…
If I can understand the complexity of the world, from end to end…
If I can stay alert to all the dangers of the world and prepare for them…
If I can distract myself with pleasure…
If I can control and dominate others…
If I can not get angry and make sure nobody else ever gets angry with me…
… then I’ll feel safe.
Which of these do you recognise in yourself?
And do any of them, really, work out?
