When the conversation you are having dies, what do you do?
Conversations die when you tune out of them, when you stop tracking your truthfulness about your experience, when you fall back on tired routines that mean little but keep you feeling safe, when you say what you think is expected rather than what’s real, when you slip into jargon and abstract concepts, when you tell lies – even small ones – about yourself, and about others.
When the conversation dies, what do you do?
Many of us, I think, keep going as if nothing had happened.
Occasionally, this is bound to happen.
But repeated again and again, over hours, days, months, years – our diminished, fossilised conversations in turn diminish us and our relationships.
Much of the corporate world seems to have made an art out of the dead conversation. Families, people who were once lovers, and whole organisations slip quietly into deadness without even noticing. Bringing the conversation back to life seems too risky, too vulnerable.
And becoming ghosts.