Here’s ‘The Gift of Not Knowing’, the 42nd episode of Turning Towards Life, a weekly live 30 minute conversation hosted by thirdspace coaching in which Justin Wise and Lizzie Winn dive deep into big questions of human living.
In this episode we start with a source from Christopher Goodchild’s beautiful book ‘Unclouded by Longing‘. We consider the limits of trying to live a life in which we know everything about what is happening, and the possibility, as Wendell Berry says, that ‘It may be that when we no longer know what to do we have come to our real work, and that when we no longer know which way to go we have begun our real journey’. Along the way we explore what happens when we make ourselves vulnerable and open to the unexpected, and the gifts of contactfulness with ourselves and others that can come from this.
We are live on facebook each Sunday morning at 9am UK time, and we’d love to have you with us. You can join our members-only facebook group here to watch live and join in the conversation.
Here’s our source for this week:
The Gift of Not Knowing
by Christopher Goodchild, from ‘Unclouded by Longing‘
Not knowing when the dawn will come I open every door.
Letting go of trying to work everything out in your head can lead you directly into the most sublime mystery of all. Your heart. Your true Self. To open yourself to this mystery, you will often have to pass through the discomfort of the rational mind simply ‘not knowing’.
What at ﬁrst might seem like an impending breakdown can easily become a profound breakthrough. This is beautifully conveyed in ‘The Real Work’ by Wendell Berry:
“It may be that when we no longer know what to do we have come to our real work, and that when we no longer know which way to go we have begun our real journey. The mind that is not bafﬂed is not employed. The impeded stream is the one that sings.”
The emotional distress that often accompanies losing your direction in life cannot be glamorised nor underestimated, when you are unable to come up with a rational solution to your predicament. However, it is true to say that one of the greatest gifts you have received in this life is the gift of desperation directly linked to the rational mind not coming up trumps.
In many ways ‘being’ in uncertainty and mystery is a necessary rite of passage you must go through in order to enter into the heart of what it means to be most alive. As a writer you see it as a vocational calling for you to invite the unfamiliar. In living your life in this way you surrender into something greater, your perceptions are stretched, as is your imagination — pushing the boundaries of what is unknown and unforeseen.
The breakthrough experience, whereby you move from lost to found, is exhilarating. The attachment to the small self is loosened, and an inﬁnitely larger, more expansive Self is glimpsed. It is here, in these glimpses that a startling new landscape, or perhaps a radically new way of seeing, is opened up within you. Here the words of Jesus come to mind, ‘For those who want to save their life will lose it, and those who lose their life for my sake will ﬁnd it.’
To embrace the gift of not knowing is to embark on one of the greatest adventures, and one that if fully entered into will change your life forever.